


Why Bats?

by gothamurox



Category: DCU
Genre: Dialogue-Only, M/M, OC is Batman, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 11:24:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7932811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothamurox/pseuds/gothamurox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce and his boyfriend have a chat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Bats?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InkofLethe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkofLethe/gifts).



“Why did you become Batman? I mean, it doesn’t really seem your style.”

“Well, Bruce, you know I am a stylish man.”

“Uh-huh.”

“As I’ve mentioned, I like helping people.”

“Yes you do, you ridiculous man.” 

“Helping people isn’t ridiculous, Bruce.”

“No, but professing your love for it is.”

“Shut up.”

“You shut up.”

“No, you shut up.”

“Answer the question, Andy.”

“Oh yeah. Well, it’s like, all I want to do is help people, but in Gotham that’s really hard, you know? Especially in hospitals. The people that go to hospitals aren’t the kinds that I  
need to help--that came out wrong.”

“Yep.”

“Yeah. Anyways, I want to help the people that aren’t asking for it, the ones that think they don’t… I don’t know… deserve it? You know what I mean.”

“I get it. You want to force your help on people.”

“Don’t kid like that.”

“Okay, okay. Yeah, I get it.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, but why a bat? I mean, Batman? It seems normal now, but when you think about it Batman sounds ridiculous.”

“Everything sounds ridiculous when you think about it.”

“Yes, but you are dodging the question.”

“Well, yeah. It’s kind of dumb.”

“This better be good. Tell me everything.”

“It’s just--well, ugh. When I was a kid--you know how I grew up in India?--well, I got lost in the forest a lot. One day--this was after my parents died--I was outside when a  
massive monsoon started up, so I ran into a cave.”

“You are right, this is dumb already.”

“Shut up and listen. Anyways, so I was in this cave, and I’m freaking out, of course. Who wouldn't? Turns out that there are tons of bats in this cave. Didn't know it at the time, I  
just fell into a frightful sleep.”

“‘A frightful sleep’, you're such a dork.”

“I can stop this story right now, Bruce.”

“I will turn this car around, mister. Don't you test me, young man.”

“Shut up. You know what? You don't deserve to hear this story. I'm done.”

“No, no. You started, you need to finish. Come on.”

“You aren’t good at this, are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Begging.”

“I don’t beg.”

“Clearly.”

“Finish your story already.”

“You are so unappreciative. I should leave for greener pastures. I’ve heard Superman is looking for a new best friend.”

“Maybe I’ll go meet him then.”

“Shut up, Bruce.”

“Maybe you should continue your story then.”

“You are tenacious.”

“Only subtly. Continue your story.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

“Hush. So I fell asleep, as you do, only to wake up to loud screeching.”

“The bats?”

“The bats.”

“Okay? Why was that so important to you? Like, sure you were scared, but why style a superhero after them?”

“Well, at first I was scared, but then it turned into a… a revelation.”

“A revelation?”

“And you want me to be less judgy.”

“I do.”

“You don’t see anything hypocritical in that?”

“Noticing the failures of others is not hypocritical.”

“I think you’ll find it is.”

“I still don’t get it though.”

“How you’re hypocritical?”

“No. The bats. I still don’t get it.”

“Well, it’s like, bats are so misunderstood, you know? I mean, most bats feed on nectar or insects, but the bloodsucking image still pervades the culture, if only because of the  
bat’s relation to vampires--”

“You’re a nerd.”

“I’m a doctor, of course I’m a nerd.”

“Nerd.”

“You invent things for fun. You’re a nerd, too. You see, this is what I mean about hypocrisy.”

“You still haven’t fully explained the bats.”

“It’s the symbolism.”

“You weren’t an English major, Andy.”

“Well, maybe my obviously poor grasp of symbolism is why.” 

“You fled the metaphorical hands of the English department to the comforting arms of chemistry.”

“Are you sure you weren’t an English major?”

“Pretty sure.”

“Like, 100%?”

“About 95%. I don’t remember all of college.”

“Bruce.”

“What? I have more important things to remember. See, this is why you need to be less judgmental.”

“We all have areas in which we can improve.”

“Yeah, especially you and your poor use of symbols.”

“Bats are perfectly good symbols!”

“Sure they are.”

“Well, clearly they are good enough.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Absolutely serviceable?

“Whatever you say, honey.”

“I will never be enough for you.”

“You are enough for me.”

“Aw, that’s was pretty sweet, could use some work--”

“Of course, I’ve never needed much.”

“--and you ruined it. I don’t know why I didn’t see that coming. It was so obviously just around the corner. You never let things just stand as they are. Why don’t you allow yourself to be vulnerable?”

“Where did this come from? Just one joke and you--”

“Just one? Just one?”

“You make jokes, too!”

“But yours constantly tear people down--no, not just people, me! I understand that it’s a defence mechanism, but do you really feel the need to use it around me? I thought that you trusted me--”

“Of course I trust you--”

“Then why do you do this to me? Constantly chip away so that you can feel safe--”

“I do feel safe with you! It’s not about you--”

“Not about me, Bruce? You make it about me every time you open your mouth and spew such vile--”

“That’s not how I meant that--”

“What you meant doesn’t matter, Bruce, what you said does. What it did to those that hear it matters. You are hurting people in an attempt to not have to grow up and deal with things. You are hurting me, Bruce, and I can’t take it anymore.”

“Andy--”

“I can’t do this.”

“Andy!”

**Author's Note:**

> I know everyone has their own version of Batman, and this mine. Please don't critique that. I know I'm probably not right, but I think it's a fun idea. But no matter your version of Batman, he's totally in love with Bruce!
> 
>  
> 
> [Edit]  
> So this was inspired by a post that suggested that people in Gotham didn't know Bruce Wayne was Batman and would write fanfiction shipping them. This is that fanfiction. The author is its own meta narrative.


End file.
